Do you have any unhealthy relationships in your life? Do you feel powerless to set boundaries? Do these relationships suck the life out of you? It’s important to start taking a look at your relationships. As adults, we now get to determine how our relationships look.
Recognizing the signs of toxic relationships is vital. Think about the people in your life and determine if any of these apply.
- It’s a one way street. When you share something going on in your life, it tends to go right back to them and their life. You ask questions about their life, but they don’t ask you any questions about yours. They have a hard time really listening and being present. It’s about them and their unmet needs.
- They play the victim. They do not take responsibility for their lives or choices. It tends to be someone else’s fault. It’s too difficult to deal with their own emotions so they tend to project them onto others. If they focus on what has been “done” to them, then they don’t have to connect with their own internal emotional state or make changes.
- It’s not safe to tell them how you really feel. You tend not to tell them anything deep or share your feelings because it doesn’t feel safe. They might share your information with others or use it to manipulate you later.
- They are very insecure. This is truly at the core of why they act the way they do. Chances are they have had some unresolved trauma in their life, which drives their behavior.
- You feel drained after being with them. By the end of your time together, you feel completely worn out. You almost feel responsible for helping them. This can be a heavy load to carry. Everyone is responsible for their own lives. It’s time they make choices and take responsibility to heal their past.
What are the next steps to interacting with toxic people? It’s important to look at your self-worth. Do you feel like this is how you deserve to be treated? Start by recognizing your value and start setting boundaries or limiting your interactions with them. We teach other people how to treat us by what we allow. We can still be loving and compassionate and have boundaries at the same time. You are worth having healthy, loving and connected relationships. Believe you are worth it.